SuMERSiON {Rant}

Who the hell are you to tell me
What to do, why to do, why bother?
Leech in a mask of virtue
Such waste, to ever think of you again.
- "Master Passion Greed"

Kind of I'm doing...submerging my feelings.
Hiding them inside me. Because how other people feel, I keep how I feel
locked inside and no one truly knows how I really feel about things.
I may feel certain ways about certain people.
But because of my not wanting hurt my friends. I did nothing.
And I suffered for it. But now, my opportunity is here...but should I go with my submerged???
Or keep them under submersion-hidden inside me???



Anyway, more drama at school. This is the second time
in two days out of the past 10 years of my schooling life, that I have been called
down to the guidance office.
So it's safe to say I'm not very happy about it.

Number One- DO NOT call me the most evilest bitchiest person in the whole world,
when you have NO room to talk. That's your first problem.

Number Two- ALL you teachers, DO NOT get into a student discussion,
and say you don't want drama, when you don't know the whole story.
You cannot yell at kids just for the hell of it. I didn't do anything!
Get the whole story, before you start yelling at the wrong people.
I'M NOT the one who's cussing somebody out on Microsoft Word in big black bold letters,
and hiding it everytime you come around by the way,
because I'm too SCARED to say it to their face.

Which brings me to...

Number Three- STOP telling everyone everything and saying crap about me!
Do you have a problem??? Then say it to me!


Anyway, not much else to say...school sucks(clearly),
I miss my old friends, and I have nothing to do!

But I am currently liking the acting of one, Claudia Black.
Click to watch this pretty amazing video on YouTube
This is a video about her character on Stargate: SG-1, Vala Mal Doran.

Don't get me wrong! I still love the acting of Torri Higginson.
Watch this other amazing video on YouTube
It's of her character on Stargate: Atlantis, Dr. Elizabeth Weir.

But watch those videos, and that's about it,
hopefully my problem at school will be solved this week...I can't handle
this crap right now, that, and frankly I just don't want to.

VENgeAnCE {rANT}

They used to love having so much to lose
Blink your eyes just once and see everything in ruins
Did you ever hear what I told you?
Did you ever read what I wrote you?
Did you ever listen to what we played?
Did you ever let in what the world said?
Did we get this far just to feel your hate?
Did we play to become only pawns in the game?
How blind can you be, don't you see?
You chose the long road, but we'll be waiting
Someday I’ll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words
- "Bye Bye Beautiful"


So, you'd think, after being told multiple times,
we don't want anything to do with you,
said person, would I don't know...LEAVE YOU ALONE!?!?!
Some people, have way too much crap going on in
their personal and home lives to deal with your crap too.

So said person from last blog, just couldn't stop.
I get to school, and so far so good. Then I arrive in 4th period.
She dumped him, and blamed it on me and Twin! WTF???
She told him, that WE didn't like him.Umm, excuse me??? Are you serious?!?
We do like him, so where the hell did that come from???
Then she had the nerve to give us a note! Saying she was suicidal,
and that she dumped him. Which I later found out sh dumped him because she hoped
it would make us feel better about her. Umm, wrong again!
Then 5th period she left...okay, that was random, but whatever.
Then in the note, we responded with some, not so kind words, but at least there was no cussing.
Anyway, well guess what she did with that note???
Turned it in!!! What the hell?!?!? Anyway, we got called down and the
whole thing just pisses me off...anyway.
I can't say I don't want to punch something right now, or get revenge,
but I'm definitely considering it. So yes, I am full of vengeance right now.

I'm letting it go. I'm done with you and your crap, don't talk to me for awhile,
hell, don't talk to me forever, and we'll all end up happier.

FiRSt StriKe {ranT}

After all this has passed, I still will remain.
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain.
Though it won't be today,
someday I'll hope again. And there'll be beauty from pain.
You will bring beauty from my pain.
- "Beauty from Pain"


Okay, well maybe it's not the first strike, or the second, or the third.
Honestly, I couldn't tell you how many times me and Twin have given you another chance. Where the hell do you get off telling me how
I effing feel about people and my problems???

When Twin invited her and me over tonite, Twin and I intended
to make the best out of this. If you randomly say, "Oh, I'm a Bitch." what do you expect
the answer to be??? Yes, you are a bitch. I sure as hell won't lie to you.
Because so am I, so is Twin, so is everyone at times,
and real people with feelings can admit that.
Then, you friggin have the damn nerve to tell ME, that I don't want you here. WTF???
Take a pill of the chill variety and get over it. If I didn't want you there,
I wouldn't have come myself! And, my name is Katie by the way.
You didn't even have the friggin guts to say my name when you sat there
and said, "Well, SHE doesn't want me here".
Ummm, okay, you're cool, but I'm pretty sure that on my birth certificate,
it does not have my name as being SHE. And like I said, I didn't say a damn word about
you not being there. I can be MATURE and hold my tounge.
Some people, like Twin for example, have a had to deal with the death of someone.
I, for example, have already had enough people who I was close to, also walk out on me.
Actually, I recall saying that exact thing tonite, right in front of you.
That I am effing tired of people giving up on me, and walking out of my life.

Then, OMG, she had the nerve to sit there and ignore us as we talked to her. WTF???
How do you expect to solve anything if you won't freaking talk!?!?!
Then, you wouldn't believe what she did next. She called her parents and left.
They came and got her. She went inside, got her stuff, then sat in the middle of the driveway.
I went over to talk to her, and she ignored me...AGAIN!
She said that when she's mad she doesn't talk.
Well FYI, some of us, get a little bit more then freaking ticked when you ignore us!
Then you leave, and call back with the nerve to say,
"I did it because it's what's best for all of us." What a cop out!

But whatever. I gave you a chance. Twin, gave you a chance. You're done.
I understand that when you get a boyfriend,
sometimes you ditch you're friends. But EVERYONE else, gets an effing clue,
and knows that the right choice is to come back because friends are important.
Even after the relationship with your boyfriend is gone, you're friends are STILL here.
But NOT for you. Your FIRST STRIKE was up months ago, and you kept coming back.
And stupidly, we kept forgiving you...
and now, seeing what it's doing to Twin, and to me...I regret it.
You had your first strike, you had your second, and this...this was your third.

Now, you are DONE.

ADriFt {RANt}

"I thought cause they were tomatoes they were a symbolic gesture of love and appreciation. The love apple. Now I understand perhaps it was encouragement to step off quickly and head to the bar to meet my pa for that shot of scotch, as I was just depressing my audience. Okay I will cancel my next open mic night at yuk yuks and quit my job at the suicide hotline,as clearly I won't be helping those kids." -Torri Higginson




Okay, so I agree with my Twin Rae(who is the Erin to my Shaunee),
that I really can't say I know who I am anymore.
I think the real me, who's supposed to be in this world, the real world...is adrift.
I think that I don't know her anymore.
A lot of things happen to me, and I promise myself I won't let it change me...
but is it anyway??? Am I adrift??? Being not the person I want to be,
but the person everyone's making me out to be???
So...I don't know. I am adrift, or so I believe is the real me, and I hope, that I'll find her...

So, Yellow Springs, all day, with my Twin yesterday.
Never been, but totally fun, nothing like it, loved it absolutely.
Twin's uncle, who is a fire spinner, said he would teach me
and Twin how to do it. "Dangerous and Moving" flames...fun!

So with being in Yellow Springs..me and Twin have
officially decided to Go Green. And along the way, make a huge statement about it.
And I am talking HUGE, BIG, EXTRAORDINARY.
Might be hard, and the punishment will be big...but I think it'll be worth it.
So chaos, maybe confusion because no one will know whose been doing it, but fun.
And good for the environment.Whether you like what we do, we will make ourselves heard.
Whether or not you can handle what you hear and act on it, is entirely up to you.
Like I said before, do you plan on breathing??? Then quit killing the effing trees!
I believe in Global Warming, all that jazz, it's happening.

Tomorrow, school, math with a teacher who has extremely ticked me off...yeah, fun.

Blog From School

Don't shut up, speak up, for Gay Rights.

So I was in Computer Lit, when I started this.
I am now in English class, and I just have to say I'm rather mad
about the whole Day of Silence thing today.
Day at school, day of silence. Don't do it.
If a tree falls in the forest no one hears it.
If you're silent, no one hears you.
So how is doing this speaking up for gay people???
I'd rather run through the halls, at the top of my lungs, screaming,
"GAY RIGHTS! WE NEED GAY RIGHTS!".
Just sitting there, not making a sound, doesn't change gay rights.
But I do believe protesting does,
but that does not include not talking.
If someone asks you whats wrong, you can't answer because you're not talking.
If you're screaming down the hall, people will know.
See??? It's just easier for everyone.

My other thing, is why do we use so much paper???
I tell them, "Stop using paper and to recycle, you're killing trees!".
What do they say? "Well the tree's already dead,
I'm just using paper that's already made."
Umm, NO. Supply and Demand people! The more effing paper you use,
the more friggin trees they will cut down!
Is it really that hard to understand???
And everyone's always like, "Oh well, they're just trees."
Umm, excuse me??? Do you plan on breathing???
You NEED trees to breathe!
Fine, then when you cut down all the trees, and we have no oxygen,
then I'll say I told you so.

And why, pray tell, does this freaking school
NOT have recycling bins???
My old school did, this one...NO.
Which is totally idiodic. And only makes us "tree-huggers" more mad.

Another thing, why can't we eat luch outside?
My old school, practically EVERYONE ate outside.
Here??? No, they think we'll run away or something.
And if they do think that,
then even they finally understand how much everyone hates it here.

Then, I stay after school to take a test in Geometry,
and my teacher has the nerve to tell me I'm not trying.
Umm, are you my brain???
I KNOW when I'm trying, and I definitely am!
Just because it took me a little less then 15 minutes,
does not mean I don't try.
That makes me SO mad.
Then, watch, I won't try on Monday, and she'll give me a detention.
Oooo, I have to stay after school, with no homework
to do and read a book of my choice the whole time! That'll be torture.
Because if I did get a detention,
I would just read the whole time...yeah, that will be a bad punishment,
getting the chance to finish the book I'm reading.

Week-end plans? Who knows, either going to the movies with Erin...
which I'll probably get blown off.
Or what I'm hoping, go to Yellow Springs with my amazing Twin!

Anyway, running off - talk later!

LiFELinE {raNt}

A nightingale in a golden cage

That's me locked inside reality's maze

Come someone, make my heavy heart light.

Come undone, bring me back to life

A nightingale in a golden cage

That's me locked inside reality's maze.

Come someone, make my heavy heart light.

It all starts with a lullaby

- Escapist by Nightwish


So, right now I am totally bored...I am excited though!
I final finished the season of Stargate: Atlantis!
The only I've seen all the way through is season two,
because it was the first one I got.
I've said it once, so I'm saying it again, bring back Torri Higginson
and have her play Dr. Elizabeth Weir.
I am glad, of course that even though they have canceled the show,
that they're making a movie.
So it will be the perfect time to make up some story that would have
been to long to be an episode, to use as an excuse for her return!
LoL, but seriously, please! PLEASE!!!

Anyway-I am bored otherwise.
I just job shadowed one of my teachers at my old school.
Which I loved, but made me remember how much I miss it.
Then I come back to school on Wednesday,
and remember how much I HATE it at my new school.
Yeah, talk about depressing...

I have recently fell in love with the song called Post Blue by Placebo.
I saw a Stargate: Atlantis video on YouTube for it.
Click here to WATCH, PLEASE!!!It's AMAZING!!!
Read the description to understand it, it's Sparky really, not Stargate: Atlantis I guess.
*If you don't know, Sparky(or Shweir) is what we shippers call the
relationship between
Dr. Elizabeth Weir and Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard(Joe Flanigan).

But watch the video, watch the show, and I'll talk later!

CRiticAL MasS {RAnT}

The rumors flew but nobody know how much she blamed herself

For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time

But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
- "Whiskey Lullaby"


So I'm reading this new series (thanks Rae Wayne,LoL!).
It's called the House of Night series. And I'm totally ticked!!!

And yes thank Rae Wayne for that too.
Cause she totally told me, that one of the characters
who is the High Priestess (like the principal of the school)
-who by the way, if they mad a movie about it
Torri Higginson could totally rock at playing- is evil.
Ha-take that if you wanted to read it, I just ruined it!
Ha, Karma sucks man! HaHa, just kidding, but seriously she's evil.
Some people said they could tell in the first book.
I couldn't until the second-which happens to be where you find out.
*Heyy she ruined it for me, Karma says I do the same for you! LoL

So it's a vampire series, and I kinda sorta maybe might
like it better then Twilight.
It's a lot darker and edgier. Like a Harry Potter book.
But it's really good.
And Twilight and Harry Potter fans would love it.
But if people let it slip to you that one
of your favorite characters is evil *cough Wayne!*
then it pretty much ruins your outlook on a lot.

Anyway, read the books. It's taken me a day to read each of them.
Marked, Betrayed, Chosen,
and I'm done with Untamed,
and Hunted came out in March, which I finished and loved.

No MaN'S LanD {rANt}

If I'm different, why would you laugh? I'm glad I am.
I could be an ignorant person,
who doesn't care...but then I'd be just. like. you.
I think my individuality is what makes me different.
And if I'm the only one who dares to be,
then I'm alone in No Man's Land.


If you don't want to be my friend, no use in pretending.
Trust me, I'll be there for you
when you realize I'm the only one who was ever real.

Don't lie to me, I wont talk to you again.

Try not to look in my eyes,
it makes me feel too vulnerable.

Quit wearing black clothes,
they don't go with your personality.

Put your I-Pod away, it's rude to have it on around others.

Don't ask me a stupid question,
I won't answer.

Don't assume I like it here, because I never will.

Don't try and peer pressure me,
drugs are for the weak minded.
I can't entertain you, unless you like Stargate:Atlantis.

Never ask me out, if you only are going to hurt me.

Don't ever talk to me,
unless you want to be a real friend.

I'm being straight forward with you here,
so do the same for me.


I want real friends
The ones you can't replace,
because they're special
The ones who will be there for me,
without my asking
The ones who know when somethings wrong,
when I may try to hide it
I want real friends

Be aLL My SinS ReMEMbeR'D {RaNT}

So totally bored.Listening to some 80's tunage,
like INXS and ABBA, and some modern Finish music, like Nightwish and
Apocalyptica(no not with the dude from green day,
this is an actual band they just have random people sing with them every so often.
TRUST ME THEY HAVE WAY BETTER SONGS THEN THE ONE WITH HIM SINGING IN!

Thinking of watching some Atlantis or X-Files,
probably both knowing my Joe Flanigan obsession...
just need to find the one with his shirt off,LoL.

Don't get me wrong, I've been cleaning today.
Not just laying around eating Sour Patch Kids with my cat and watching
What Happens in Vegas. I actually did clean my closet.
It was needed, trust me, and I did some laundry.

So I have been productive today.
Plus I'm trying to write about 7 stories that have
been in my head 24/7 for the better part of these past 2 weeks.

Bored, talk to me! So I don't keep posting things talking to myself!

THis MoRTaL CoiL {RanT}

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS, DO NOT,
REPEATING DO NOT READ IT!IF YOU DO, ANYTHING YOU READ IS YOU'RE OWN FAULT, SO DON'T YOU DARE THINK ABOUT MESSAGING ME AND GOING OFF.I DIDN'T USE NAMES, SO YEAH IF YOU READ THIS DON'T GO GETTING ALL DEFENSIVE, BECAUSE UNLESS YOU TOLD SOMEONE, THEY WON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE.






---So this weekend kinda sucked. I was fine on Saturday.
With the two I was with.Then the birthday party
I've been looking forward to going to,
made me mad.I couldn't wait for it,and get to see everyone,
then after about 10 minutes I couldn't wait to leave,
Only, trouble tended to follow us,and of course, the drama at the house.





WHICH BTW, IF PEOPLE WANT TO START LIES OR RUMORS,
DO IT IN A ROOM IN WHICH THE WALLS DON'T ECHO.
If I had a problem with you, and btw I didn't,
I definitely would have told you.
And if you have no proof of what I did or said,
which like I said, nothing, then you have absolutely no right to go off at me.
And even if I was talking about you, I wouldn't have done it to someone
I know is just gonna open their friggin mouth. I'm not retarded.





---Anyway, then today, omg, today, I was rudely
awoken by talking in the next room over.
Not whispering like you'd think someone would do if
everyone is asleep, no they can't be that nice, they had to talk loudly.
But whatever.I'm done with that drama,
I'd like to think it's done and people are gonna shut up about it now,
but sorry to say, that would be called acting mature,
and it's probably not going to happen.





And if my day couldn't get any worse,
we had to get rid of our new puppy, Keanu Joe.
It wasn't working out because he's too paranoid, and friggin schizophrenic.
He was too scared.And clearly he had been abused by a man,
because he didn't care for my step-dad too much,
and growled at both him and our other puppy.
He was even too paranoid to go outside and use the bathroom.
I freaking cried for 3 hours straight about this. Because the shelter
he was at doesn't take good care of their animals.
He had calluses on his elbows from the concrete floor there.
Which explains why he was so protected over the doggie bed we gave him.
He hadn't been properly fed, because you could
kinda see his ribs and feel them, and you could definitely see his spine.



So please, enough drama for the year,
which isn't very far until the end, so really it shouldn't be that hard to do.